We have a new bookcase.
Hello bookcase, nice to meet you.
You fit that space very well.
I like the way you carry those books too, very fetching. Much better than them being all over the floor.
I won’t have to hoover round them now.
What’s that you say? Ed made you…in his workshop? Yes, he’s very clever like that.
You do know that that’s where my Christmas tree normally goes, don’t you? So that means I will have to wrap you in tinsel and stick a fairy on top of you.
I’m sure you will look lovely.
Yes, I do realise you are just furniture and you shouldn’t really talk.
Don’t worry, nobody’s listening, they’ll never know.